Dear Lance,

Dear Lance Armstrong,

I know you're the greatest Tour de France rider in history, and I know, as an athlete, you're both gifted and dedicated. I know you hold the records for most Tour de France wins and most consecutive Tour de France wins. I also know that you're exciting to watch when you race, especially when you are able to dominate your competitors in the high mountain passes.

I know one other thing: you promised to retire. You went on and on about how you were done with it all and how you'd never return to road racing, no matter what. Now you're saying you "might" come back next year and you will "definitely" be training with the Discovery Channel team during the off-season.

I have only one thing to say, Lance Armstrong: FUCK OFF. I, as a fan of pro cycling, was looking forward to the first season in seven that the Tour de France would be an actual competition. I was anxious to see Ivan Basso battle for the win against some of the finest up-and-coming talent in years. Instead, I'll have to suffer through the inane, dim-witted and content-thin media frenzy that follows you everywhere you go these days. I'll have to endure another Lance Armstrong Ego Trip as you lash out against the French media for their attacks on your character. Great. While you jump into a pissing contest with a bunch of sensationalist, discredited media hacks, the sport of cycling will suffer. The Tour de France is not about YOU, Lance. It's about history. You've made your mark and retired at the very top---higher than all other famous winners ever did. You want to protect your legacy? Well, stick to your word then.

Thanks.